


Admiration

by DenseHumboldt



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Conflicted Yon-Rogg, Dubious Consent, F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Masturbation, Pining, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Pre-Movie, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Voyeurism, Yonvers - Freeform, barely spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-19 09:37:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18134063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DenseHumboldt/pseuds/DenseHumboldt
Summary: Before the events of the movie. Yon-Rogg's interaction with the Supreme Intelligence and his struggles with containing Vers' growing power over him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclaimer I know nothing about this set of characters. I only saw the movie. I was low key obsessed with Yon-Rogg's whole deal and who he sees when he goes to the Supreme Intelligence. 
> 
> I also MAY have written this on my cell phone while my husband slept. Like a real perv lol
> 
> I hope this is enjoyable anyway.

"Vers can never know about this," He had said it before, said it every time he was in front of the Supreme Intelligence. Or at least every time since he returned from C53 6 years ago. Before then the Supreme intelligence had appeared as his father.

"Admiration is a tricky thing." The blonde woman said in her low sarcastic voice. Even the quirk of the lip was the same. She leaned against the long wood table, her legs stuck out and her boots crossed. "I mean you do admire me don't you?"

"Admiring someone because they don't know when to stay down is the same as admiring a skrull that doesn't know when to die. It doesn't inspire trust."

"You are saying you don't trust me?"

"Her. I am saying I dont trust her."

"You don't trust me because you are questioning the form I take." It was said matter of factly. In a succinct voice that could have been Vers if one did not know her as thoroughly or as intimately as he did.

"I don't understand it."

"You must only trust it."

Yon-Rogg bowed his head in acquiescence, the Supreme Intelligence had not brought him here to unpack what he did or did not feel for his subordinate.

"Are you not the least bit curious why I summoned you here?"

"I have failed you in some way."

"You will."

The Supreme Intelligence had not moved from the table where they leaned and Yon-Rogg had been happy to keep his distance, but now the simulation approached him. They circled him slowly while he tried to puzzle out what failure was impending that the Supreme Intelligence could predict it. As the simulation circled him he noticed that the Supreme Intelligence had a smell. They smelled like Vers, but as with everything it was distorted and distant. The memory of a memory. He inclined his head slightly breathing in to follow and trap the scent.

"Does it interest you where these forms come from?" The Supreme Intelligence was smirking at him. He looked forward defiant in his embarrassment.

"I understand, it is pulled from my subconscious. You are from my memories."

"A memory is an emotional thing. I come from your impressions of Vers. I can understand how your emotions effect you but I can not replicate them. You remember things about her in a way too vast and complex for me to pull from your mind."

"I did not consider you a being with limits." He could feel the sarcasm, the pedantic drawl, creep into his voice. Something he could say to Vers but not to their governing AI.

"Efficiency is not a limitation. I could create a better simulation, it is that you might not survive it." The Supreme Intelligence flashed their eyes and ticked up their eyebrows.

It was a glance Vers was able to do with ease. A challenge and an invitation. It was subtle and always caused Yon-Rogg's stomach to drop slightly. However this time it was accompanied by a blinding pain. The sensation of fire burning from inside his skull out. He barely registered the familiar gesture and his instinctive reaction before he was brought to his knees in pain.

"You see? It is your limits not mine."

As the pain faded Yon-Rogg understood. He saw how vague and superficial the likeness was, but how real it could be.

"I understand, but what of my failure?" He gritted his teeth, fearful of a second onslaught. He did not think he feared pain until now. Until he had felt the fire in his brain, imbedded in the tissues and the synapses. That was a fearful pain.

"So focused, didn't I impress you just now?"

"Yes. You are impressive, Supreme Intelligence."

"Tsk," the Illusion scoffed at him. They had finished circling him and went back to lean on the table. "You're always kissing ass."

If he was being honest with himself the interview was beginning to annoy him.

"You have sent her to me more and more. Is she getting too strong for you?"

Yon-Rogg forced himself to his feet.

"No I can handle her." Is this what they meant by his failure was impending? That Vers would grow too powerful to contain his deception. "She believes you are the source of her power. That you can take it away. She fears you. She will stay in line. She is a warrior."

The Supreme Intelligence rolled their eyes. "Commander, I can't just be the stick you beat your toy with. If you want to master her you must first master yourself."

The interview and the simulation ended abruptly. Yon-Rogg was left standing winded, unnerved and alone.

* * *

 

Vers took a swing at him. Telegraphing with her foot as her fist moved through the air. He dodged it easily and struck her in return. She lacked the discipline for training. She was impulsive in the field. Her strength and speed came from danger. She would never master him on the sparring mat. Not without her powers. She got up from where he knocked her prone. Her eyes looking up at him with a look that could only be described as defiantly bored. No matter how many times he knocked her down she got up, but he knew that she was immune to losing to him by now.

She got to her feet and reset her stance. He squared up again. Everything at zero once more. She was so different from the Supreme Intelligence's projection of her. The impressions he had of her did not do justice to what it felt like to be shoulder to shoulder during a mission or to be sparring like this.

"You are telling me what you are going to do before you do it. Control your emotions. Control your thoughts."

He could see the annoyance across her face. He said these words over and over to her. Control, control, control. They came at each other again. He blocked her and forced her back after each attack. He felt her frustration like liquid down his spine. Some times he wondered if the reason she could never quite overcome him was because they were too close, too connected. It certainly wasn't a lack of skill.

He was distracted by his own thoughts she broke through his defences and knocked him to his knees. She smiled too soon, felt the surge of victory too early, stopped her onslaught. Like a tightly coiled spring he sprung at her from his knees pinning her below him on the mat. Her hands beside her head began to glow with their unnatural energy.

"Control it." He spit out through gritted teeth pushing his forearm deeper into the soft flesh at the top of her collarbones, pushing his thighs into her thighs. Driving them both deeper and more solidly into the mat.

Her eyes were alive with the electricity the pumped through her veins, that intermingled between her cells. Another thing the Supreme Intelligence did not replicate.

He felt rather than saw her extinguish the power in her hands. That was just as well, the control for the chip, that dulled her connection to her powers, was in his armour. If she truly ever let loose outside of battle he did not know if he could stop her. The thought sent a frisson through him, made gooseflesh rise wherever he was connected to her. He coveted her raw power, the ability of her weak Terran flesh to contain it.

"They're out." She said her eyebrows raised to point out he was still crushing her to the mat with his body.

Yon-Rogg released pressure slighly, but before he stood off her he breathed in deeply. He had to, he had to find balance with the effect the Supreme Intelligence had on him, the opaque meaning of their warning. She smelled like heated flesh, of the detergent in their clothes and of something deeply her that he could not describe but that was the thing missing from her replication.

"Did you just smell me?" Yon-Rogg lifted himself off her quickly walking off the mat.

"No"

"What can you learn from you opponent's smell?" She asked with her half smile, raised up on her elbows still prone on the mat. She was making fun of him.

"That they need a shower" she laughed and sprung to her feet. She followed him to their bags. Leaned around him to grab hers.

"Yes sir" she said with a low laughing tone. It was quiet and intimate.

He knew she wasn't trying to arouse him, but the heat of their exercise and the confusion the Supreme Intelligence caused him had affected him. His blood rose to meet her and he had a sudden stabbing desire to be with her in the hot wet spray of the shower.

* * *

 

"Back so soon, Commander?" They were leaning in the same position they always greeted him in. Nonchalant, but impatient as if at any moment they would end the interview and leave to do something better. Something more exciting.

"You told me to master myself. I don't know what you meant." He kept his head slightly bowed. He had debated coming here, but he was unnerving himself. He needed to understand, to be told directly.

"You called her Vers. Its strange don't you think? To leave her her Terran name when you took everything from her."

"I could not leave her behind, not when she contained all the energy of Mar-Vell's core."

"The core was destroyed. You could have left her behind to die."

"She would have survived. The Tesseract chose her for a reason."

"It didn't chose anything," they interrupted. "Kree medicine saved her, I saved her. Do not romanticise a trick of biology that gave you enough time to bring her to me."

Yon-Rogg blinked. The Supreme Intelligence was right. Of course they were right, but how had he become so twisted up? He was being foolish he realized, very clearly, thinking of Vers and himself as part of something larger.

"You are powerful warriors, but do not lose sight of who you are or what you are doing."

Yon-Rogg was never sure how inside his mind the Supreme Intelligence was, if they could hear his thoughts or see his memories, but there were moments like these that made him feel like talking was unnecessary.

"Do not lose sight of why you brought her to Hala. Do not lose sight of who you are to her."

"My failure -" the Supreme Intelligence cut him off. They held up a hand to pause his words.

"Has already begun." The Supreme Intelligence snapped their fingers and Yon-Rogg was pulled to his knees by the liquid mirror of the simulation. It wrapped tightly around him as the Supreme Intelligence crouched to look at him. His eyes searched Vers' face, the face that was hers but not hers.

"Supreme Intelligence I -" his voice was tight and he felt a manic desire to fight against the bonds.

"Shh let me show you your failure." They traced their thumb across his face their knuckles brushing over his lips. To his suprise they felt warm and real, his skin tingled wherever they touched. Then seamlessly their surroundings shifted morphed from an endless hall of light to a small darkened room. Steam rose around them and he could hear somewhere the sound of running water.

He had his answer about how much the Supreme Intelligence could see without him knowing. His moment of weakness that he had buried deep in his memories. The Supreme Intelligence searched his face with eyes that were like Vers' but did not burn the way hers did. They were watching shame and realization bubble up inside him.

He prided himself on his warrior's celibacy. Like a monk he studied and trained, treating his body as an instrument instead of as a vessel for his desires and pleasures. He had been made aware that this control was cracking around him, his honed resilience to temptation and emotion was not what it once was. His blood had been hot, they had sparred and he had won and she had caught him contemplating her. Adrenaline, victory and shame had intoxicated him, he had a glimpse of desires that had been dormant in him since he began to serve in Starforce. Eager to be rid of them and rather than fighting them through meditation and physical exhaustion as he would have normally he had taken himself in hand.

It had been quick and impulsive. When the showers had not washed away the heat in his body and the incessant desire to have Vers pinned against him once more he had simply handled manners. It had been so long his body was fast to respond and it had felt so good. The hot water washing down his skin if he closed his eyes he could pretend it was a caress, that he wasn't alone.

He could feel the pleasure now, but it was disgusting to him. It felt wrong as if it was being pulled out of him backwards. He wanted to cling to it hold it deep within him. The Supreme Intelligence knelt with him and placed tender hands on either side of his neck bending his forehead to meet theirs. He closed his eyes against the realness, the firmness of their touch.

Then it started in earnest, the building of pressure at the base of his spine, the slackening of his muscles as a heady need consumed him. His breath came out in a hiss as he tried to control the firing of his nerves and the waves of sensation that radiated from his tailbone all along his scalp. The Supreme Intelligence forced his head up as he pressed forward into them, forced him to look into Vers' eyes. They glowed the way Vers' eyes did when they fought and he felt the pain of the Supreme Intelligence pulling greater accuracy from his memories. He was awash in blinding pain and pleasure so purely intermingled he could not tell where one began and the other ended.

"You didnt fight it then Commander. Why fight it now?" The eyebrows quirked the lips in the taunting half smile. With a cry closer to pain than pleasure Yon-Rogg felt himself lose to the force of the sensation.

The Supreme Intelligence abandoned him as he fell forward lost for the moment in the exquisite bliss of completion.

"Now do you begin to understand why you will fail me?"

The interview ended and Yon-Rogg awoke on his knees. Nauseous from the abrupt withdrawing of the simulation and covered in a fine layer of sweat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2  
> Pre-movie the Supreme Intelligence confronts Yon-Rogg with his own weakness and provided him a disturbing prediction of the future
> 
> **vaguely spoilery if you know as little as me**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **spoilers in last line**  
> Where the author goes completely off the rails.  
> As previously noted I know nothing about this section of Marvel and as the movie is barely on Hala I am just officially making things up.
> 
> So I have tagged this work dubious consent because this chapter gets a bit squeaky.  
> I think most people who read dub con will find this pretty run of the mill, but if you are unsure or change your mind mid read check out at the line "he gulped vaguely sick" and check back in at "it had been a meaningless promise"
> 
> **********  
> But just in case Y'all thought I forgot Yon-Rogg is not on the nice list. I didn't

He found her eventually. He had been searching for her for the better part of the evening, ever since his comm had gone unanswered. He had come here last because if he found her here he would be disappointed. It was not that he couldn't understand recreation or the need to blow off steam. In fact, he encouraged it in those under his command, except himself. And her. The warrior he was training in his image.

Vers had other plans. She saw herself, in all her hyper powered glory, as a common soldier. He stood at the base of the giant tank, flooded with violet purple liquid and back lit so it shone in the dim room, and he watched Vers swim above him. The Synth Tanks were once all the rage on Hala, large vats of super diluted psychotropic drugs that the consumer would swim in or simply immerse an appendage depending on the sort of experience they were looking for. Now they were semi abandoned and only diehard Skimmers kept the deteriorating businesses afloat. In his youth the tanks would be filled with beautiful sopping wet bodies, the observation deck around the rim of the tank full of languid patrons and below looking up an equally sized pool of onlookers watching through the viewing glass on the sides. It had been sexy just to walk through if one could ignore the hollow addicted eyes of the regular users. Yon-Rogg had never partaken in Synth, but he had muscled his way through to rescue jelly boned comrades before their absence was noticed.

Now it was only him and Vers. She had not even seen him yet. He watched her white clad body churn the Synth around her. It was dangerous for him to even be here like this knowing he could no longer hide his desires from the Supreme Intelligence or himself. She was an adult and a warrior, when she had ignored him he should have left her alone. If he could be honest with himself he was more afraid that she wasn't alone. That Vers wasn't as dedicated to the aesthetic lifestyle as he was, that she would let just anyone into her body.

He shouldn't have worried, Vers was always alone. She didn't fit with the Kree. Even if they didn't know the truth of her homeworld they sensed how foreign she was. How alien. Like a flash of light Vers dove beneath the surface her pale body slipping through the water with comfortable ease. She plunged towards the bottom of the tank. A bold and experienced Skimmer maneuver. He immediately wondered how often she came here to be seeking the rush caused by the lack of air to the lungs and the deep immersion in the Synth. She stopped when her hands found the bottom and she pushed herself upwards again so she hung suspended just a few feet from the bottom of the tank. Her eyes were tightly closed, only hardened Skimmers exposed their eye tissue intentionally to the Synth. He was able to continue to watch her unobserved as she hung like a star, the light streaming from behind, her arms open palms facing out. Her toes in a graceful point. Her blonde hair floated upwards. She was stunning. He felt his feet carry him closer to the tank, placing his hand against the cool glass. As if she sensed him she opened her eyes, he stepped back in surprise. She immediately smiled. It was a wide dreamy smile as if he was exactly the person she wanted to see. With two strong kicks she had her hands pressed against the glass. She pointed enthusiastically up. He shook his head raising his two hands and backing away. He couldn't join her when everything about her right now made him ache in forgotten ways.

As he made to turn away she banged loudly on the glass and gestured even more insistently up before pushing herself quickly upwards. Yon-Rogg rolled his eyes, but he made his way to the rusting stairs upwards. He reached the top as she broke the lavender surface. She immediately swam to the small floating dock and pulled her body up onto it in one smooth motion. The Synth looked pink in the dim light as it ran off her body in rivulets. She rolled onto her back letting out a content sigh. The cool air hitting her wet skin and causing a rush of opiods through her system. She floated on the dock looking up at the ceiling her hand rubbing nonchalant circles on her stomach. Yon-Rogg's mouth had gone dry. He should have left. She had clearly forgotten him or thought she had imagined him. His feet were rooted to the spot and would not obey his command to retreat. Vers in repose was a different kind of alluring than Vers in battle. He did not feel the rush in his veins and the thud of his heart in his ears. Instead a possessive warmth sunk low in his belly.

With a shocked gasp Vers sat up and looked at him wild eyed as if she suddenly remembered he was there.

"You are real."

"Last time I checked" he nodded at the softly lapping Synth. "How long have you been in there?"

"Not long enough" Vers let out a long sigh and lay on her back again.

"Did you have a nightmare?"

"Yes" she sounded choked. Like she didn't want to admit it.

"You didn't come to me."

"I don't always." Now he was the one to feel choked. He thought they had her nightmares in check, that they were frequent but managable.

"I told you to."

Vers sighed again stretching her arms high above her head, curving her back in a languid arch. She had no idea how lovely she looked, how moved he was by her. In her mind she was a soldier first and a woman second. That was how she should be to him, her commanding officer. His desires were not only impossible they were disrespectful.

She collapsed against the dock hands above her head, shoulders fully stretched.

"If I did that I might as well bunk with you, because I have them every damn night." Her voice was soft and low, she was beginning to feel the effects of the Synth.

He couldn't say anything. All he wanted to say was that he wouldnt mind keeping her that close. That he hadn't really slept since he ended his vigil over her bedside six years ago when they returned to Hala. She rolled on her side pillowing her head on her arm watching him.

"Are you going to come in?" She asked.

Her white suit clung to her and her hair was slicked away from her face so he could see all her expressions clearly.

"You know the answer to that, Vers." She laughed at him, smilingly wickedly.

"It might be good for you to relax."

"This place is going to rust. I would be surprised if they even top up the Synth anymore. You are just swimming in dirty water."

"Fine" she slipped into the tank again swimming to the edge where he waited.

She tried to push herself up, but she slid down again. Her limbs boneless against the affects of the synth. She giggled as she floundered. Without thinking Yon-Rogg stuck out his hand to pull her up.

That was a mistake.

Suddenly full of strength again Vers pulled him into the tank, fully clothed. He heard the crash of Synth around him and the rush of tepid water as he sank. He broke the surface gasping, grabbing a desperate hand to the edge of the deck he cleared the drug away from his sensitive tissues as quickly as possible. He could taste it bitter on his lips and feel the suction of it in his ears. Vers was gripping the deck laughing so hard she was dangerously close to slipping beneath the surface.

Yon-Rogg pulled himself up quickly feeling the Synth pour down his body and the cold air hit his soaked clothes immediately. Desperate to avoid further intoxication he whipped off his, jacket, shirt and his shoes. He could not bring himself to remove his pants. He lay back half naked on warm steel of the deck. He looked at the ceiling above him and saw the low lights blur and spin. It was so ridiculous he started laughing.

* * *

 

When the Supreme Intelligence greeted him they were leaning not against the long wood table, but against a solid steel door. It was the only thing in the brightly lit room. He recognized it as being from a Starforce class ship. It had a palm print reader as was state of the art on all ships. It looked familiar but he had been on so many ships he couldn't be sure what one it was meant to represent. It must be important if the Supreme Intelligence had simulated it.

"Look familiar?" They nodded behind them to the door.

"Yes, it's from a Starforce ship."

"Not just any ship, this beauty is from the Forge." The Supreme Intelligence ran a loving hand over the door and Yon-Rogg's blood ran cold. He knew that ship and he knew why he knew this door. Six years ago the Forge was the ship that carried them to C 53. The ship that was especially equipped to bring back Mar-Vell if she could be taken alive.

"Open the door Commander." He walked towards the door, squaring his shoulders against what he knew lay behind it. He pressed his hand against the reader, forcing him to lean closely into the Supreme Intelligence. The door beeped.

"Open sesame" the Supreme Intelligence whispered near his ear. He didn't understand what they meant, but they smiled as the door slid open.

The cell turned med bay opened up before him and the Supreme Intelligence walked in. She was in there. Lying prone on the table, a blue drip in her arm, monitors on her forehead.

"You stood watch over her."

"Yes" he didn't know what he would feel seeing her like this again. His memories from this trip were hazy. He had barely slept, barely ate instead sitting a silent vigil over her humming electric body. Watching a thunderstorn play out beneath her skin.

"Show me how" he could hear a hint of something behind their voice. Frustration, betrayal, pity? How did you identify emotion in an AI. Something they did not have. Could not have.

Was what he was hearing a projection of his own disgust at himself? He walked closer to Vers, the sheet covering her soft Terran form, Kree blood dripping into her veins. His blood. She had had times of lucidity during this slow process. Her eyes would flutter and she would try to look around try to sit up before falling back into unconscious again.

"I don't remember" a spark of pain shot up his spine. The Supreme Intelligence stood at the head of the bed they leaned close to Vers their palms on either side of her face.

"Tsk. He doesn't remember. Do you believe that? I don't believe it." They shook Vers limp head from side to side. "She doesn't believe you either Commander."

He gulped, vaguely sick watching the limp Vers be puppeted around. He reached a shameful hand and gripped her ankle through the sheet. She felt warm and very real beneath the starched cheaply woven blanket. He could feel the delicate curve of her leg and the muscle as it lay over her bones. What passed for a warrior on C 53 was so much weaker than on Hala. She had been so fragile. Not just as her body learned to contain the power from the core, but due to the insignificance of C 53. They were a weak backwards planet. He despised them, despised Mar-Vell for hiding there.

"Is that really all, Commander?" Yon-Rogg swallowed. He wanted to forget this part.

If Vers were to remember any of it he would have denied it, but this insignificant form had held so much power. She had radiated a power that called to him. He closed his eyes and moved his hand up her calf, following the muscles he found there, feeling the hum in his finger tips of a massive energy fighting to be contained. The Supreme Intelligence straightened and watched the progression of his hand as he flattened the palm of his hand into her stomach, even if he could not bear to. He skirted her ribs avoiding, even then, the swell of her breasts naked beneath the sheet.

He opened his eyes because in his memory as he passed this sensitive flesh Vers had fluttered her eyes. She did now, her pupils laced with lightning. He placed one hand by her head and leaned close to her face watching now as he had then the weak terran dying inside Vers as it was burned out of her by the core's power and the Kree blood flooding her system. Her mouth opened in a silent wet moan as her eyes rolled back. She was beautiful and wild. He burned for her. He had tried to forget this moment but he was watching it again. His blood taking possesion of her, flooding her with pure Kree strength. He had wanted then to taste her dying, to slip his tongue past her lips, tight in a painful panting grimace, and feed off her raw power.

It was an insane animal desire,and he despised the weakness of desire, but with her it felt like a melding of power. That he had earned some of the raw energy coursing through her by saving her with the blood from his body. He hadn't then only because she was still alien to him and he wouldn't sully his body with anything less than Kree, but soon he had promised himself.

It had been a meaningless promise in the end. One he would never fulfill but at least it had held him over on the trip back to Hala.

He was staring at her now. Reliving the raw desire as strong as it had been then.

"She fascinates you this Terran woman" the Supreme Intelligence was still there watching him expose his animal weakness.

"She is Kree. I made her Kree. I flow through her veins" his voice was gruff. Gritty as if he had swallowed the sands of one thousand planets. He could barely get the words out defiant to his leader, the master of his fate.

In an instant the memory disappeared and they were standing again in the blinding nothingness where they usually stood. It was brighter now. So bright Yon-Rogg blinked against the shock of it.

"You made her nothing. She has made you weak." There was a ridged line of disgust in the Supreme Intelligence's voice. "You brought her to me already sullied by your desires. Did you think you could hide it from me? She grows stronger while you grow weaker. Do you know Commander what you will say when all is revealed?"

"She will never know. She will never question her place in Starforce, it is all she knows."

"She already questions it. She is already being consumed by her own frustrations, her empty past. She has no grounding. You are only her present Commander. You are not her future."

Yon-Rogg wanted to scream. He wanted to strike out at his tormentor with Vers' face. They were right, Vers was already seeking other oblivions, seeking beyond her limited power, seeking beyond the chains he had put her in.

"What can I do?" He felt weak. He felt useless. He wanted a command, a directive against his own rebel flesh.

"Admit your failure, Commander. Give into it and either let her go, or kill her. For the good of the Kree."

He was alone and gripped by an anger that threatened to tear him apart. He screamed, free of the probing of the Supreme Intelligence. He screamed a deep primal scream and he drove his fist into the nearest pillar fracturing the stone and filling himself with centering life giving pain.

* * *

 

"Okay tell me one more time how you broke your hand."

"I didn't tell you the first time." Vers was a lousy medic, she insisted on a primitive sort of binding whenever there was an injury. He gritted against the unending pain that burned in his right hand. It had swollen and felt watery as she tilted it back and forth. He would go to have it properly mended eventually, but for now he needed the pain just a little bit longer. To remind him he had no right to touch her. To desire her.

He had tried to hide himself away but she had found him in the hallway outside his rooms. She had been searching for him sparring bag in tow.

"I could make you tell me." Her eyes flashed warning him. Telegraphing her intention before she squeezed lightly. Pain shot through him and his blood boiled. He took a deep centering breath, the Supreme Intelligence had taught him a new world of pain. He could bear this one.

"A Kree warrior does not torture the wounded for information. We are the heroes." He gritted out the words and she leaned into him fascinated by his pain.

"Then you should just tell me what I want." She made to squeeze his poorly bandaged hand again, but he was too fast for her. He pulled it away and caught her with his good arm and swung her easily. Bringing her down hard onto his bed, beneath him. He felt the rushing in his ears and the intermingling of mind numbing pain and hot blooded desire.

"I told you to leave it, Vers" he straightened his arm giving them distance, but this meant he could see her, better watch her mocking smile as she absent mindedly fiddled with the closure of his jacket. Her hand just below his broken one curled over his heart.

"I just want to know whose hand I should break in return. I am an avenger when it comes to my friends." Yon-Rogg couldn't look at her anymore. It was too painful. He leant away from her. Gave her space.

"I am your commanding officer. We aren't friends. Leave, Vers." Vers didn't move instead she inspected his face trying to sort out what she saw there. "Leave. Now. That's an order."

Hurt flashed across her eyes as she set her face in a neutral expression. She sat up and coughed awkwardly. He remembered just how absolutely alone she was on this planet. A prison she didn't even know she was in. A cage of his own design. As she left and the door closed behind her he fought the urge to call her back. To explain everything, but she was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yon-Rogg makes a choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. It's been lovely and bolstering chatting with everyone. Thank you for reading and for your kudos and comments. 
> 
> I hope this doesn't disappoint.
> 
> I would love to know people's favourite chapter just for my own curiousity.

He came to covered in a fine layer of sweat. His shirt stuck to him and his hand throbbed. It was dark in his quarters. He lifted his head feeling the light headed rush as the fluids rushed downwards in his body. Why had he fallen asleep like this, upright on his own couch? He stretched his neck trying to release the tension that had settled in the muscles. The pain held and would not be soothed. He groaned in annoyance and tried to stand but there was an unfamiliar weight on his legs.

 

He looked down and saw Vers anchoring him. Head on his lap, her arm as a pillow, her knees curled into her so she fit on the couch. He immediately stilled. He could not remember falling asleep, he did not remember her returning.

 

Did she know the code to the door? Had she simply melted the lock? He would put nothing passed her.

 

Of course she had come back. Foolish stubborn Vers who never accepted a 'No' in her life.

 

His movement had stirred her, she pushed herself half upright her hand planted firmly on his thigh. He willed himself to ignore how strong she was, how the body heat, that had pooled in his lap while she slept, dissipated.

 

"Are we going to bed?" She asked her voice rich with sleep. Yon-Rogg felt his pulse tick up.

 

"We are not going anywhere."

 

To his shock she lay her head back in his lap, laughing at him as she cozied herself back into him. He tensed every muscle willing his blood to flow to his head and no where else.

 

"Alright, I have slept in worse but you'll have crick in your neck."

 

"Why are you here?"

 

"You don't remember going to Med Bay?" She asked her voice soft as she slipped back towards sleep. "They said you couldn't be alone tonight. Turns out I am not the only one without any friends."

 

He pressed his lips together, opening and closing his injured fist until it ached more. He bit back the apology the threatened to spill out of him as she was curled up in his lap a thin line of self depreciation and hurt in her voice. Did he remember going to med bay? He didn't. In fact he didn't remember much after he told her to leave. Had he hurt himself more? He could see no further damage to his body.

 

He held up his injured hand and inspected it in the quasi-light coming from his window. Vers' bandaging was gone and all that remained of the injury was a dull ache. It seemed like he had gone to Med Bay.

 

It was peaceful now; the city spread out beyond the window full of life but silent in his quarters and Vers soft and warm against him.

 

"You aren't doing a very good job of taking care of me." He said, though he found he wanted for nothing, no hunger, no thirst, no discomfort at all.

 

With a sigh Vers sat up and yawned. She stretched, rolling her neck side to side. She changed sides so she was reclined against the far arm of the couch, her feet in his lap. Her feet and legs were bare and her hair was touseled. She looked comfortable and at home. He realized that he deeply wanted this intimacy with her, to have her not just when they were in the field or training but during these quiet times. He wanted to have her every hour of the day.

 

"You are the one who said you didn't want to go to bed" She said jokingly kneading his thigh with the ball of her foot. Digging into the muscle. Yon-Rogg could not have designed a more exquisite torture for himself. "You have been the worst patient in history tonight."

 

"Oh have I?" Without thinking Yon-Rogg grabbed her foot from his thigh, it was small in his hand, he squeezed it lightly teasing her. She made a low sound in the back of her throat half pleasure, half pain. Yon-Rogg swallowed and ran his thumb experimentally along the arch of her foot. She made the noise again. "You forget who cared for you after your accident"

 

She let out a self satisfied laugh at him, smiling in the dim light, she pushed her foot into the palm of his hand wordlessly encouraging his fingers.

 

"I was barely awake, how hard could it have been?"

 

"It was torture" Yon-Rogg smiled at her and continued making small circles with his thumb in the arch of her foot. She closed her eyes humming contentedly. He felt the low tingling heat in his spine. The frisson of warning before he headed down a very dangerous path. He ignored it. He felt like they were in a different world floating somewhere far away from where the truth matter.

 

His other hand, though weakened, found her ankle and traveled the same torturous path it had taken in the ship. His thumb pressing into the ankle, following the curve of a powerful calf. He paused at the knee tenderly sweeping over the sensitive flesh. She didn't open her eyes but her breath hitched and he knew the same blossom of awareness, the small zaps of electricity that traveled from where his thumb met her skin up his arm to his groin was traveling from her knee. He wondered if she too felt a growing want between her thighs. If the liquid sensation that pooled for him was doing the same for her. If her skin also felt like it was burning up.

 

He paused and watched her. She was very still, but she had not told him to stop. He wouldn't be able to unless she stopped him. He flexed his fingers into the firm flesh of her thighs and she bit her lip. Her hands had gripped fistfuls of the couch and her knuckles were white. She was resisting, but he did not know what against.

 

He released her and reached for her hand. He rubbed it gently urging it to release its death grip. Her fingers relaxed and he turned her palm up tracing it with his thumb, slipping between her fingers one by one. Loving the sparks he felt where their skin met, feeling the growing want inside him. She opened her eyes and watched his thumb for a moment before looking at him. He met her gaze.

 

"Stop me, now" he ground out barely able to make his tongue form words every muscle in his body was so tense. She shook her head wordlessly her pupils blown wide. He went to remove his hand but she gripped his wrist. He grunted and did the only thing he could think to disengage. He scooped her up in his arms and walked the four steps to his bed.

 

He dropped her down onto the sheets as if she was made of hot coals. She looked up at him with confused fiery eyes. 

 

"You stay there. Or leave. Just - just don't-" for once Vers didn't give away her next move. As swiftly and as forcefully as she could she hooked her leg behind his knee and pulled. Toppling him on top of her. He braced himself above her the familiar adrenaline of battle rushing through him, flooding his veins and heating his skin.

 

"Vers, this won't end the way you think it will. There are things you don't know and- and " he couldn't form a sentence anymore as Vers' thigh gripped him tighter, her warm hands finding their way beneath his shirt to his skin. His skin that already burned for her. He groaned in sheer frustration pressing his forehead into hers, hands knotting into the bed sheets as he fought his blood for control.

 

She rolled him in a move he had done to her a thousand times on the sparring mat. It was bliss to be under her, not just because her strong thighs and the weight of her made him see stars but because he no longer had to deny what he wanted. She had absolved him of this sin. His hands gripped her hips pushing her into him. He thought for one blissful moment he could be happy here, he could maintain the adrenaline and just anchor them to this moment. For as long as it took for the insanity to pass, until the sun came up and cast all of this into harsh reality.

 

Vers had other plans. She placed her hands on either side of him. Holding his head tipped and stroking the shell of his ear. Such a small gesture felt like electricity, it sent static to his brain and made him shudder against her. His body begged for release but he held firm. He could sully himself once she gave up on him. Once she quit her sensuous assault on his senses. Once she stopped pulling every forbidden fantasy from his mind.

 

She leant forward and sank her teeth into his bottom lip before quickly soothing the wonderful pain with the open wet heat of her mouth.  He opened to her eager to taste her in all the ways he had denied himself in the last six years.

 

"This has been very educational, Commander" Vers voice cut through the room. Yon-Rogg's blood turned cold and he felt his muscles freeze with shock. He could not move. He was pinned to the bed. Vers no longer straddled him, but the Supreme Intelligence was sitting on the couch watching him intently. He moved his head as best as he could and although he was still on the bed Vers had melted into the mirrored bonds of the simulation.

 

"How? I don't understand" he panted out, shame threatening to eat him from the inside out. "I woke up here. This is my room. I didn't leave."

 

"It's simple really" the Supreme Intelligence's voice moved from the couch and they appeared looking down at him pinioned to the bed. They stroked his cheek in their clinical way. "I was alerted when you went into Med Bay. There is no aspect of your life that I do not control. I am in your comms, in your medicine and in your memories. The Kree are my children, even when they misbehave."

 

Yon-Rogg closed his eyes against the sickening realization. It made more sense than what transpired before; his lack of memories, Vers being close when he awoke, the way she had been exactly how he had imagined her.

 

"Why?"

 

"A test, Commander, a practice run in case she were to ever return your feelings. To see if you could be loyal to the Empire or if you would spill all of yourself for her." The Supreme Intelligence quirked their eyebrow and glanced down the length of his body. Embarrassment made his stomach clench. Thank all that was Kree that he still had his clothes on.

 

"What now? Now that I have failed you?" He dreaded the worst.

 

"I see my mistake, Commander. I misjudged that you could correct your own course. It is obvious to me now that by forbidding you, I only made it more precious. So you have two options. You can submit yourself to me. To the simulation. For re-education-"

 

Yon-Rogg felt a surge of pleasure between his very cells. He groaned against it as the mirror tightened around him.

 

"-or you can kill her and return to Hala as if nothing happened."

 

"You would not consider her power wasted?" Yon-Rogg heard the plea in his own voice.

 

"A weapon that you cannot control is a greater danger than it is an advantage. No matter its potential in this war."

 

* * *

 

The door clicked softly behind him as he stood in the darkened quarters. He had had the code for her door for the last six years. Of course he had, there was no element to her life that he could not unlock but he had sworn he would never cross the line and use it.

Even in this he was weak. 

 

The lights were dimmed and he could hear panting breath. He leaned on the door and watched her sleep. She was fitful and breathing heavy. A nightmare. He had only ever seen her after them, he had never witnessed one. Her skin glowed in her agitation.  He liked the sounds she made. Even in her dreams, at her most terrified, he could sense her fighting against it.

 

She sat up suddenly sensing she was not alone, frightened out of sleep, she hurled a bolt of pure energy at him. It was not strong and he was only propelled backwards into the door. He groaned as his skull cracked against it.

 

"Who's there?" Vers ignited her hands ready to jump into action.

 

"Control it" Yon-Rogg grunted rubbing the spot where the bolt had hit him.

 

"What are you doing here?" Vers immediately extinguished her hands. She lay back down hitting her pillow in annoyance. Clearly he was not forgiven for banishing her earlier.

 

"You left your comm on. I could hear you being distressed." He lied, inviting himself farther into the room. She hadn't thrown him out yet so it was as close to a warm welcome as he would get.

 

"What? I did?" She immediately began reaching for it, but Yon-Rogg caught her wrist stopping her.

 

"Forget it. I am here now" he let go, let her pull her arm back.

 

She lay on her side looking at him with her eyebrows raised an unspoken 'so?' hanging between them.

 

He had really come just to look at her, fill his mind with her real form rather than the perversion of the simulation. For lack of something better to do he sat on the edge of her bed.

 

"You should get some sleep."

 

"You should talk, what about you?"

 

"I have been in Med Bay all afternoon. I have had all the sleep I need" he lifted up his mended hand, opening and closing it to show its flexibility.

 

"Then do you want to fight?" Her eyes flashed, challenging him. Looking at her warm from sleep, curled up in a darkened room he could think of many other things he wanted to do.

 

"I want you to get some actual sleep" he whispered back to her, a playful command. He couldn't stop himself from speaking with her intimately, couldn't stop the connection he felt to her.

 

"Not an option" she said stretching languidly on the bed. "Between the nightmare and the late night B&E my blood is pumping."

 

"Do you trust me?" Yon-Rogg leaned in close so he could truly see her face in the darkness.

 

"Yes" she stumbled over her answer. Taken aback by the question.

 

"Lie on your stomach."

 

"Why?" She asked, but she rolled over anyway. "What are you going to do?"

 

"Help you sleep, make up for my 'late night B&E' as you called it."

 

"How are you going to do that?" She said laughing as she supported her head on her arms still looking at him.

 

"A very old trick. The oldest one I know." Yon-Rogg tugged down the covers until they were just above the curve of her bottom, her whole back exposed to him clad in a small compression shirt the type they wore under their training gear. She tried to look over her shoulder at him, looking at him like he was crazy.

 

"Close your eyes" he mouthed at her. She rolled her eyes, but she rested her head on her arms eyes obediently closed.

 

Using only his index finger he started at the top of her left shoulder where the shoulder met the arm, finding the small knotch there. He moved his finger in tight curves writing out the Kree glyph for 'sleep'. Vers let out a small hum and tried to peek at him under her lashes. He was focused though on her back, on the smooth skin over her shoulder blade hidden beneath her shirt. He wrote more; 'rest', 'peace' and when he caught her trying to look at him 'close your eyes'.

 

He wondered, as he watched her tense muscles melt into the bed and her face relax, if she felt the same shiver of awareness where he touched her. He felt a heady mix of alertness and calm as if his every nerve ending was aware of her, that he was melting into her. She made a small humming sound as the Kree glyph for warrior skirted the hard ridge of her scapula. He could not stop himself from cataloguing this spot, memorizing the places where she was most sensitive, most reactive.

 

"What are you doing?" Her voice was far away now, soft on the edge of sleep.

 

"Writing Kree glyphs" he watched her brow scrunch as he traced "beautiful" along her spine. "Stop trying the read them and try to fall asleep."

 

He was confident she would never quess what he was writing. He also knew from watching the rise and fall of her breath that she was edging nearer and nearer to sleep. Then he would leave her he promised himself. That would be the end of it.

 

'Sigh for me' he wrote along the blade of her other shoulder and as if she was at his complete command she did. He felt the small sound travel the length of his spine and end somewhere below his belly.

 

"Where did you learn this?" She murmured barely awake. Typical Vers fighting him to the end.

 

"My mother would do this when I couldn't sleep."

 

"Mmm" she hummed at the sweet memory "tell me about her."

 

"I am not telling you about my mother, Vers. Now go to sleep."

 

"I don't remember my mother" she said adjusting her arms so she muttered heartbroken into the pillow. He felt a twinge of guilt. More potently he felt a stab of fear, because there were certain things he could not answer her without exposing his carefully stacked lies and deceptions.

 

It was better to distract.

 

"My mother was an assassin," he said spelling 'danger' down her ribs. He heard her breath catch as he grazed over each ridge. He continued making his way down her back, spelling the words as they came to him. Vers was quiet, every thing about her had become serene and still.

 

He thought she was asleep, that he should leave until he came to the small slice of skin visible above her shorts. On a whim he wrote 'mother of warriors' across it relishing the smooth heat of touching her. His breath caught as he watched her hips press into the bed and a low hum escape her. He felt the heat creep up his spine as he thought about Vers, supplicant beneath him, responsive and moldable to his desires.

 

If he could have predicted what it would be like to bed her he would have guessed a whirl of sweat, muscle and teeth, like when they sparred. This was different he was flooded with fantasies of her pliant beneath him, of her love like water washing over him. Not stillness, never still, but malleable to his desires. Taking pleasure too. Of learning her body so well he could pluck pleasure from it like a finely tuned instrument. Or like honed crystals with the electricity of his touch bringing her to the perfect vibration. 

 

That was all it took from her to bring him to such heights of fantasy; a bending to his touch and a low sound. It was shattering to everything he had held true about himself. He didn't know who he hated more in that moment. His revery was interrupted by her voice.

 

"Is that all you can say about her?" Vers was still awake, but barely. He wondered if he could convince her it was all a dream. That he was never here.

 

"There isn't much else I remember. I went to the academy. I went into Starforce."

 

"You've forgotten your mother too."  Vers'  breathing was deep. He should leave he knew she would sleep soon.

 

"There wasn't much to forget" he pulled the covers up to cover the thin sliver of skin that had become the centre of his greatest desires over the last few moments. "I am going. Get some sleep."

 

He made to stand up but her hand gripped his sleeve. He paused as she rolled over to look at him. There was a peace in the room. It had settled over everything. He felt he could live in this moment forever.

 

"You don't have to go" the unchecked part of him was triumphant. Her eyes were a blatant invitation to stay. He could slide back the sheet, possibly find welcome oblivion deep inside her, but he wouldn't. He wouldn't succumb as the Supreme Intelligence predicted.

 

He had been weak to come here. She was already moving back the sheet. Yon-Rogg stepped away from her. If he ran now he could never explain it to her.

 

"You need sleep Vers, if I stay you won't be sleeping" his voice was a low dark whisper. He had not retreated more, but Vers had slipped from beneath her sheet. She stood in front of him in her compression shirt and loose shorts. She was all strong limbs and pale skin in the moonlight.

 

"You're the one who keeps insisting on sleep" she said approaching him. He was frozen to the spot. She slid her palms up his chest and Yon-Rogg let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding. Finding his shoulders beneath his jacket she slid it off of him. The room was no longer serene the air felt charged. He felt like if they were to touch he could see the sparks jumping from one skin to the other.

 

To remove his jacket she had had to step in close, her arms around him in a semi-embrace. The air in the scant inch between them was heated. The control of not reaching for her was making Yon-Rogg's muscles quake. Vers looked calm, content. She was looking at him with a question in her eye. She made to step closer but he caught her waist in his hands. Holding her rigidly, maintaining their distance with shaking muscles. He licked his lips, mind racing trying to recalculate, restrategize.

 

"I might not remember much, but I do remember how this goes" she said teasingly. She put her hands on either side of his neck. She traced the muscle of his clenched jaw with two fingers. Rubbing small circles into the notch of muscle and bone willing some part of him to relax.

 

"Then you remember there are rules about fraternization" he instinctively flexed his thumbs rubbing into the dips of her waist. Feeling the smooth muscle and heated skin beneath her clothes.

 

"I remember no one listens to them." She stepped closer into him and he let her. There was barely a hair width between them, her arms encircling him, her head tilted so he could take her mouth easily. He grunted squeezing her waist.

 

"Tell me something. Something there is no way I could know."

 

"Do you think I am a skrull?" She leant back amusement and confusion in her eyes. He gripped her tighter, pulling her close enough their foreheads couls touch.

 

"Just humour me."

 

She thought for a moment, moving her hands to his chest to trace the planes beneath. She drew a small circle over his heart. He wondered if she knew how hard it was pounding for her.

 

"Sometimes in my nightmare I bleed red" she said watching the path her finger took drawing a line of pure sensation from his heart along his jugular. Following his jaw she brushed her knuckles over his lips. "Isn't that crazy?"

 

He caught her hand against his mouth with his, his other arm pulling her tight to him not caring that she could feel the height of his arousal. He pushed his tongue shallowly between the tight digits. Tasting the sensitive skin between her fingers before moving her hand so he could suck on the sensitive flesh at her wrist.

 

"Your blood is blue" said in a possessive whisper, feeling the rush as her breath hitched and her knees softened. He dragged his teeth along the thin flesh covering her carpals. "It's my blood. I am in your veins. I am the heat in you."

 

He was certain that if he let them go Vers would fall the the ground she was pressed so tight against him, her muscles slackened with lust, skin heated to the point every touch felt like a raw nerve.

 

He let go of her hand and she let it fall, gripping tightly to his shirt. His other hand returned to her hips. He knudged her legs open with his knee before lifting her so her legs wrapped around him pushing their bodies tight into one another. Her hands instinctively let go of his shirt and wrapped around his neck.

 

He suprised her by turning away from the bed and dropping to his knees. Vers hummed low in her throat as their bodies were pressed even tighter together, locked by the pressure of her limbs squeezing. He changed his grip so one hand cradled the back of her head and the other held her hips tight against them. He tilted lowering them to the floor. Vers looked up at him with her eyes darkened with desire. He realized he couldn't remember the last time he had a woman. He ran his palm over the inside of her thigh. She sighed and closed her eyes.

 

"If you leave now I will kill you" she said half joking, squeezing her legs where they still wrapped around him. He laughed fingers reaching for the waistband of her shorts.

"You've won Vers. Now be quiet and enjoy your victory."

 

He tugged her shorts off, she lifted her hips obediently squeezing him with her legs sending delicious waves of adrenaline through his body. He slipped them off one leg then the other allowing him brief tantalizing glimpses of her naked body. Each time he returned her legs to his middle, finally running the flat of his hand over her calves meeting them at the knee and squeezing. An implicit order 'hold me back'.

 

Sightlessly he began exploring her, meeting the resistance of her legs every time he reached. She was all soft skin and wet heat. The simulation had failed to capture how hot her skin was, his imagination had been limited on the tactile sensation of finding heat, desire and tight muscles between her legs. Her moans were higher than he imagined when he slowly rocked his fingers into her, closer to cries. He understood. He understood the intense relief of finding satisfaction when you had been denied for so long. If it were not for how strong her grip was against his waist his animal nature would have him surging forwards and sating himself in her now. He kept her there legs raised, head tilted back trying to press her body higher, farther into his steady hand. When she finally came every muscle tensed and her gasp was drawn so deep it sounded like the death rattle of an enemy. Yon-rogg growled as he felt the strength in her legs ease.

 

He flipped her over onto her stomach and dragged her hips back so she was seated over him again. He made quick work of the clasps on his clothes and freed himself.

 

He ran a possessive hand over the small of her back where he had traced 'mother of warriors' she hissed at his touch, nerve endings on fire. That was where he would look as he emptied himself into her.

 

She took him in one thrust, her voice broke as she cried out but she pushed back against him, so he was more firmly, more deeply inside her. His vision dappled at the edges with the effort, like he was careening through the atmosphere without his armour. The floor dug into his knees, it would be digging into her as well, but he would be quick. He was already so close.

 

He focused on the pain, the tightness, the heat and felt the pleasure grow from the base of his spine flooding his limbs with the burning sweetness of it. He grew sloppy and desperate in his motions pushing himself to the edge of his resistance before breaking apart. Doubling over with a half animal cry as he felt the growing heat spilling into her.

 

As the throbbing subsided she unmounted herself, crawling away from him with shaking limbs before falling to her side curled into herself. He followed suit collapsing weakly forwards his muscles pushed to their limits, sweat soaking his body, running between the strands of his hair. It was quiet, both of them sated and exhausted on the floor. The permanence of his choice hovering above him but not quite able to land, to find purchase in the hazy bliss he felt.

 

* * *

 

"You made your descision quickly, Commander" the Supreme Intelligence reclined in their seat, boots up on the table.

 

"Yes" he knew he didn't have to speak it aloud, but he felt like not saying it would suggest he was not certain of it. He was certain. After he left Vers the idea of allowing the Supreme Intelligence to re-educate him, to pervert his desires and memories disgusted him. "Vers won't return from Torfa"

 

The Supreme Intelligence kicked off from the table and stood to consider Yon-Rogg. He didn't blink, but stared rigid like a soldier into the middle distance, welcoming their examination. After a moment the Supreme Intelligence seemed satisfied.

 

"For the good of all Kree."

 

"For the good of all Kree"


End file.
